Carpathia IV: Episode 171 - Blue Balls
Amenaru's Quarters, NCCS Shadowdancer-A
A clean, uneventful voyage felt as pleasing as a breeze on a warm spring day for most of the crew, considering how the last mission went. Most welcomed the warm, cozy blanket of a steady routine and part of that was the resumption of Stellar Sorcery nights hosted, as always, by Amenaru and Teek. As always, only about half the discussion, if one were being generous, was about the game itself. The rest was about everything else, from mundane small talk to speculation about the next mission.
Amenaru: Kit, what was the name the Institute picked out for the blobbies again?
Kit answered without looking up from his cards, moving them around, one at a time, into a different order in his hand.
Kit: Cyto. It's the best we could come up with under the circumstances, considering that we don't have the capability to say their name in their language.
Teek: It's good that we aren't calling them blobbies anymore. Just didn't seem right.
Mikado: What are they like? I mean, I read the report, but it would be better if someone gave impressions that aren't in the report.
Teek and Amenaru gave each other a knowing glance while Kit continued to rearrange his cards.
Amenaru: I forgot the last time we met them was on the old Shadowdancer.
Teek: We managed to piss them off the first time, but we met a friendly one the second time. He was a real firecracker, that one.
Amenaru: He got into everything, first all over the outside of the ship, and then crashing himself into every tool cabinet in the shuttle bay later.
Kit: He's very smart. I hope I meet him again. That said, I wonder what they'll think of the new ship. They've never seen Shadowdancer-A before.
Amenaru's ears flicked up and Teek's skin bristled in a little wave up his body.
Amenaru: I hadn't thought of that!
Teek: They're not stupid. Similar silhouette. Same markings Same color. I think they'll get the idea.
Amenaru: That's true. I suppose we'll hear more about that at tomorrow's briefing. Say, whose turn is it now anyway?
Mikado: Darius.
Darius hadn't budged or said anything between the last turn and this one, with his face buried so close into his cards that nobody could even see his eyeballs. He kept his body scrunched up tight, especially his legs, which he kept pressed tightly together with his knees almost touching his chest. All eyes turned to him, but he appeared not to notice.
Mikado: Darius?
Darius gasped and gave a little jump, nearly dropping his cards in the process.
Teek: It's your turn, Darius.
Darius: Oh! Ha ha. I didn't realize.
Nobody doubted that, for his twitchy ears and swirly tail indicated clearly enough that he had something else on his mind. Darius fumbled with his cards for a few seconds before shakily pulling out out.
Darius: Okay... I'll play a cumet mana card...
Darius put his card on the playing field, next to his other mana cars.
Darius: Comet! I mean comet!
All looked at Darius with both amusement and befuddlement, except for Amenaru, who had to cover up his delirious grin with his hand. Now, Darius's hands shook as he pulled out his next card.
Darius: I'll... um... play my Butt Werewolf on the field.
Darius finished his sentence just as the card hit the playing mat and then he froze, ears pert. The rest, aside from Amenaru, looked on with even more confusion, but they started to giggle as well, not knowing if this was all a joke or not.
Teek: You mean Blood Werewolf, right?
Darius: Yes! Yes! That's right! Butt Waffle!
Darius's eyes slammed shut. He knew what he did and the others started getting the notion that this wasn't an act after all. This didn't stop the giggles, however, for like a sudden, accidental fart that follows a sneeze—a sneeze-fart—a "snart,"if you will—the giggles came and they could not be stopped. Amenaru, however, thanks to extreme effort, did not giggle. He now had his hand pressed against his mouth so hard it was entirely plausible that he could turn his face inside out.
Darius made the choice to quickly say what he wanted next as quickly as he could as he prepared his attack phase. A bad decision, he would soon discover.
Darius: I'll attack Teek with my Dick Nipple Guardian and the Anal Antagonizer...
Amenaru did a valiant job up to now controlling himself, but he couldn't stop a chortle. Like a pinprick in a dyke, that was all it took to initiate a torrent. In his case, laughter, and he declined to resist further, for doing so might cause physical injury.
Amenaru: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Darius finally reached his limit and, with his cards hurtling out of his hands, bolted for the door.
Kit: Butt Waffle?
Teek: Don't ask me. I don't know what he's into, but he's got some serious blue balls for sure.
Amenaru stood after sorting his cards back into a neat little pile.
Amenaru: I'll go talk to him before he gets too far. Need to apologize for not being able to control myself anyway.
Teek: Don't feel bad. It was impossible to resist.
Amenaru muttered a note of thanks before rushing out the door to find Darius.
Mikado: Carpathians are weird.
Teek: Mostly just this ship, but tokki are a bit weird to us too, you know.
Kit: If you don't mind a suggestion, instead of just thinking of everything as "weird," try to understand why Carpathians are the way they are. It won't seem so weird when you start doing that.
Mikado: Hmmm... You have a point...
The Next Day
Amenaru refused to disclose the nature of his conversation between himself and Darius, only stating that it wasn't his story to tell. Of course, Darius wasn't talking either, not that they pressed him, but he didn't volunteer any information. Teek, Kit, and Mikado had to content themselves with mystery.
Besides, they had a mission. After the briefing, they took their positions and awaited orders.
Phobos: Captain, we are approaching Cytosia.
Aire: All stop. Put Cytosia on viewer.
Teek: Helm reading all stop, Captain.
A moment later, Cytosia popped up on the viewer.
Aire: Helm proceed at one quarter induction. Let's bring her in slowly so as not to spook them until we have an idea of how they might react to our new funny white rock.
Teek: Understood, Captain. Proceeding at one quarter induction.
Commissioned art in this episode from:
AvareonArt
Zelbunnii
Less_End
Thatwildmary
Colourbrand
Falke2009
